The story behind the summit
The Pebble Beach Putting Green Summit
Fictional satire · condensed from the original story
The standoff on the ninth green began when a seven-foot putt stopped two millimeters short of the cup. Trump glared at the grass as if it had personally insulted his ratings.
“The ball went in. Everybody saw it,” he announced. His caddy Tyler cleared his throat. “Sir, it’s still on the lip. You just have to tap it in.”
“The lip is biased, Tyler.” Trump demanded bigger holes—bucket-sized holes—and declared the par four a par six. “I’m actually two under.”
While Trump explained the new scoring system to a passing beverage cart, Tyler crouched as though tying his shoe and nudged the ball with his pinky. It dropped into the cup.
Trump spun around. “There it is! Gravity finally caved.”