The story behind the summit
Fictional satire · condensed from the original story
The dining room at Mar-a-Lago refused to cool below 72 degrees. Within minutes, an emergency task force surrounded a mahogany table with blueprints and charts.
Trump demanded the return of the beautiful 68-degree air. Gary, the HVAC technician, pointed out that the system was set to Fan Only and somebody had taped a menu over the sensor.
“The thermostat is rigged,” Trump declared. He proposed a 200 percent tariff on warm air and drew an enormous ice cube on the blueprints.
An aide suggested pressing the Mode button twice. Trump announced that all options were being considered—and that the patio would pay for the returning cold air.
Gary quietly pressed the button. Cool air rushed from the vents.
Trump smiled. “Instant results. Probably the greatest negotiation in HVAC history.”